Tow days ago marks my three years arriving in this country. My family and I arrived here at 6 am, it was the same as I entered Syrian in 2008 when i left Iraq for good. I still remember very well everything that happened like it was yesterday.
I was a child, it was during August,and I didn’t know what to expect by leaving Iraq and going to Syria. I didn’t knew or even cared if I was gonna come back to Baghdad once again. We traveled by those travailing buses just like the others, because at the time the Iraqi airport was close.. (As i remember.) everyone was so happy and excited, I felt like we all saw hope at that moment, everyone on that bus was so happy, they all were cheering out loud. A lady in her 40’s said “congratulation you have arrived safely to the Shame (Damascus), she was teaching us that we should say “Soreeyah” not “Soryh” for Syria, I didn’t take here seriously at all when she mentioned the right way of pronouncing Syria name. After living there for a long time and being in touch with the Syrian community, I realised that lady was correct, we call Syria as “Soreeyah” !
To my family and I, including lots of other Iraqis Syria was our second home after we realised that Iraq can’t protect us, and it’s not our home anymore. WE left everything and throw our selves in the unknown. We applies with the UN and sate there for years waiting to know if there is really a hope of us finding a place that can accept us or we would just get refused and go back to that county that we ran away from. Our life was on the line, we didn’t know what gonna happen next! We had no idea what was our destiny ! and no-one was able to tell us what was going to happen to us, we just waited, waited, waited, waited, and waited, and waited, and more waited..
We didn’t just wait for months or two or three years, some waited for five, seven even 10 on the hope of the UN will ring us, and tell us that some “First-world Country” accepted us and believed our story, therefore they are now willing to take us!!
It was a long process that I don’t want to go through it right now, I’ll tell you about it later.
I first left Iraq in 2006 when it was on fire as we all remember if you have been keeping up with the news then. After that in 2007 I went back to Iraq, then i left in 2008. So to look back it’s been about 10 years.. when I think about it, i wonder what did this country provide for me for these past 10 years?! I don’t have a home to go back to, I lost all my pets, I have grown apart with my relative due to this distance and gap that has occurred throughout the years since I left Iraq/Baghdad, I know NOTHING about the whole country! and yes I REALLY MEAN NOTHING !! I don’t even remember Baghdad!
I still didn’t figure out my feeling towards Iraq yet.. but there is something that I’m thankful for..
- To all my teachers in Iraq, who have taught me my A & B.
- To all my neighbours whom am sure you were more than kind with me.
- To those neighbours who have nurtured me and taken care of me and my sisters when we were young.
- To all of those great friendships that I no longer have.
- To all of those young men who were so stupid to diced to sacrifice their life for this idiot country.
- To all those politicians who played with us like a domino.
- To all those doctors who took care of my health while they were struggling to live.
- To all of the houses that have hosted me and my family.
- To all of the bus’ and tax’s drivers.
- To all the great winds and writers.
- To all the books I have read.
- To all of my toys that I ever played with.
- To all of my relative that I have lost contact with you.
- To the USA for causing a war on this nation, without you I won’t have grown at all.
- To all of the fun childhood memories you gave me.
- To all of the fake hopes i drown for my future.
9 years after leaving Iraq.. and all I feel is I don’t know where I belong to! I can’t feel any connection with Iraq or this country..
All I know is I am lost at the moment.
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